New Translation:

Anti-Woke Version

A special announcement

from Text & Translation

Sick and tired of wokeness? Most Christians are and we are therefore thrilled to announce a truly unprecedented project.

Fifty of the most conservative scholars in the world have come together to translate the Bible from its original Hebrew and Greek, employing the functional equivalence model, with a view to maintain a conservative standard of theology and practice in the churches and in our culture.

Being thoroughly impressed with the committee’s translation work, and believing that this new version will effectively stem the tide of liberalism, several Christian publishers have already agreed to make this translation available without copyright.

This new translation is titled the “Anti-woke Version” and the following sample verses prove its commitment to unapologetically conservative renderings:

– Only two biological genders are affirmed (Genesis 1:27, 2:21-25)

– Monogamous marriage until death is idealized (Matthew 19:4-8)

– Effeminacy is condemned and masculinity encouraged (1 Corinthians 6:9, 16:13)

– Feminism in the church is rebuked (1 Corinthians 14:34, 1 Timothy 2:11-15)

– Drag queens are condemned as an abomination (Deuteronomy 22:5)

– Homosexuals are referred to as sodomites (Deuteronomy 23:17)

– National borders and even walls are approved (Proverbs 22:28, Psalm 122:7)

– The right to keep and bear arms is affirmed (Nehemiah 4:18, Luke 22:36)

– Egalitarianism and equity are rejected (Ephesians 6:5, Colossians 3:22)

– Welfare benefits for the unemployed are denied (1 Timothy 5:8)

If these samples warm your conservative heart, then we invite you to watch for the upcoming release of this new translation. It should be available on Amazon by December 25th. Simply search for “Anti-woke Version” or its very handy abbreviation: AV

Author: Christian McShaffrey